Parenting and My Father Today...

I will continue my post about me later. Tonight, I want to make a post about parenting.
For those of you out there that are reading this and have children, I want you to pay attention. No, I am not a parent, but yes I have parents and even though I'm only 19 I know more than my parents know when it comes to affection and showing love.
Of course, parents want to be affectionate and caring and nurturing while their child is a baby and toddler. Most people think that this is when it's most crucial. It is crucial but you also have to be all those things when your child grows into an adolescence and teenager. Your child is developing and going through so many changes. Show them that yes, their body may be changing and they are growing and taking on responsibilities, but you will always be there to help and love them.
On the flip side, you can't be a pushover either. It's ok to spoil your child but when they get to he age that they can do for themselves, by all means teach them and show them the way. You can't be there to do everything for them forever. There will be a day when your child will need to move out and get their own place and fend for themselves. I have a friend whose parents baby the person so much, they don't know how to do anything for themselves and the person is 19!
When it comes to discipline, the best thing you can do is punish your child. Don't beat them! Beating your child will only result in your child resenting you and it can damage them not only physically but mentally too. Punishment is especially effective in our times considering the roles technology has in our daily lives. Kids love their game consoles, computers and phones. So think of it as an investment if you buy them that X Box 360 heh.
I want to come back to the subject of affection, because that is huge in raising your child. No matter what, a child will always have a bond with its parents. You are our heroes, who we look up to, and our influences. It hurts when we beg for attention from you and you turn away or act like we aren't there. Sometimes, that's why we act out. We want to be heard. We want you to look at us. We want you to speak to us. Yes, some of you have jobs and are tired after coming home from a nine to five, but it only takes a few seconds to ask "How was your day, sweetie?" or to say "Hello." when you come through the door or "Goodnight." before you fall asleep.
It is also a must to know your children and trust them. Get them to trust you too. I was almost shocked when I realized how much my boyfriend's mother knew him. My parents don't know me or care to know me and they just expect the worst from me. It's frustrating because I try to talk with them, but they don't listen. It still kind of amazes me how my boyfriend's mother knows him so well, but I think that's how it should be. You also shouldn't take something your child told you in confidence and use it against them later because all the trust they had in you will be gone. Try your best to be open minded too because we are in a different time from when you were a child and things have changed, so try to go with the flow of things rather than against it. Try to be understanding and look at things from your child's eyes. So give your child certain freedoms and trust. Not too early, but not too late either.

My father and mother plan to separate from each other and ever since my mother told my father he has been acting distant from not only my mom but me and my siblings as well. He doesn't say "Hello." anymore or "Goodnight." I can't even remember the last time I heard either of my parents say, "I love you." and it hurts so much. Yes, I'm 19 and I usually spend the weekends with my boyfriend. Yes, I am an adult, but that doesn't mean I don't want their love. I have been there for the both of them these past difficult months and I haven't taken any sides. I listen to them both vent, say petty things, and fight. I am always in the middle, but I always greet them and do things for them. I always ask "How was your day?" but I feel like they don't even care. I feel like they don't even recognize me as their daughter, but someone who cooks and cleans for them and listens to their problems. Someone who puts in and picks up their prescriptions for high blood pressure medicine. Someone who always fixes what needs fixing. Someone to put the DVD in the player and to bring them hot or cold tea when they please.

I think I just feel heartbroken today because my father has been ignoring me and my mother completely. He doesn't look at us or talk to us. If we ask him anything we have to say it a few times then he will ask, "Oh you were talking to me?" Today I made two different dinners because my father is a vegetarian and my mother isn't and she wanted pork chops for dinner. I was frying up her pork chops and boiling her sweet potatoes while I was frying up chicken to go in a salad for him. He knew I was making him a salad. Then when I served it to him he said he didn't want it. I felt so horrible. I still do. I can't even eat right now because I'm so upset. The logical side of me knows its him acting up, but the neurotic side of me feels like it' my fault he feels this way. It just makes me sick to my stomach that everything around me is crumbling and there's nothing I can do to make it stop or at least make my parents smile. To be able to make them smile at least once a day would bring me some joy. To hear a "Thank you," or "I love you." would make this pain less. I am grateful that they let me live in this house when I don't have a job and I am grateful they let me spend the weekends with my boyfriend and let him come over as well. I just wish they could realize I may be kind of lazy but I'm waking up and snapping out if it. I may not be the best, but I am definitely not the worst either. I wish they were grateful for having me around because it sucks working your ass off, only to feel at the end of the day that you have accomplished nothing.
(And kids, show your parents you love them too because being a parent who feels unloved hurts just as much as a child that feels the same way)
So parents: love, hug, kiss, and show that your children are cherished. Children, follow suit. Life is too short not to give and receive love. Remember, Love=Happiness!!!!
On that note, Goodnight Bloggers
Love Luna